A Little Taking Care Of
by NiGhT-sTaLkEr13
Summary: Shockwave finds Megatron drunk in the bathroom. Post War. Adult themes. Sexual references. Profanity.


A Little Taking Care Of.

Stumbling in the doorway, Megatron dropped the high-grade bottle on the sink counter, catching himself as his legs almost gave in. He didn't know how much he had had to drink, but he knew he was certainly off his head with the amount that was now running through his systems.  
The last few months had been some of the hardest in his life. It was nothing compared to the tortures he had suffered whilst locked away, or some of his childhood memories, or even some of the war memories. No, it was much more emotionally confusing and different than that. Not to mention trying to live a normal life after everything he had done.  
Feeling a wave of inertia hit him, he steadies himself, palms down and gripping onto the counter now. Dammit, if Shockwave found him like this again, he was going to be in trouble. The mech didn't like it when he got drunk. It wasn't like he could blame him, though. He knew all too well that he could be a horrible drunk—usually being quite a violent one.  
Luckily, none of his drunkenness had caused any serious trouble in their relationship. Sure, Shockwave could get a bit moody over the whole situation, but that was nothing compared to what he could have done to the mech pre-op. A drunk Megatron was never a nice one to have to deal with, or one to say no to.  
Running a hand down his face, he felt a wave of disappointment and anguish flow through his systems. Shit, he had gone and done it again! He had gone and swallowed who knew how many bottles of high-grade now!? He knew he had to stop, and he knew Shockwave was going to be back soon. Why had he even picked the fucking bottle up in the first place!? He knew it wasn't going to help him! He knew it wasn't magically going to take all of his suffering away. So why do it?  
Biting his lip, he shook his head in disgust. "Shit…" he murmured to himself. _When the hell are you going to stop this? You know what's going to be waiting behind that door when Shockwave comes back in. That look… That look of disappointment_, he told himself, his hands tightening.  
There were many things he didn't quite care about when it came to himself, or what his mate didn't exactly approve of. They were still in the part of their relationship where they were learning about one another in more personal matters. Sure, they'd worked together for vorns, and Shockwave was a humble and loyal soldier. But that didn't mean they knew each other on personal grounds like they did today.  
Letting his hands slip from the counter, he breathed softly, realising that the mech he had bonded to wasn't just that soldier anymore. Actually, he much more than that. He didn't always show the mech that he loved him, but in reality, he was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He was everything he ever wanted, and ever needed in life. He was someone to make him stable in the head, and in the spark. He was someone worth fighting for.  
Looking up, his optics met the hazy ones in the mirror before him. And lifting his hand, he smacked the side of his fist on the rim of it, the medicine cabinet trembling as he hit against it. "Primus, you're pathetic!" he whispered to himself, taking a step back. The mech he loved was going to be home soon, and to what? He should be coming home to a warm meal and a mech who could show to him that he loved him. Instead? He was coming home to nothing but a drunken fool. He could hardly stand or even talk properly with the amount he had consumed. It was a miracle he was still on his fucking pedes!  
Shockwave deserved better. He knew that. The mech deserved to come home to someone who would treat him right, and with the utter respect that he deserved. Someone to comfort him when he came home from a hard day's work, and then to show him compassion. Not someone who reeked of high-grade and probably of vomit by the end of the night.  
Lowering his fist, he gave a sigh, his optics falling once more. He just wanted it all to go away. He wanted to be happy. But drinking high-grade? It did nothing anymore. Sometimes it didn't even ease the pain that he was trying to drink away. Sometimes it made him more violent than needed, and others, like right now, made him feel like nothing but an emotional wreck.  
Swallowing hard, he turned around at hearing the keys to the small room that was on the Ark. Immediately, he pushed the door to the bathroom closed and leant his aft against the edge of the counter. Shockwave didn't need to see this side of him. No one did. He was nothing but a pathetic pile of shit right now.

Opening the door, Shockwave stepped inside the darkened room, looking to see if Megatron was inside. Already, he was greeted with the potent smell of high-grade. On the desk, he could count what seemed to be at least four bottles—and they were only the ones he could see in plain sight without the light on.  
When he saw no movement, he flicked the switch, the light coming on. "Megatron…?" he murmured, his antennae falling down as he saw just how many more bottles there were. Primus, it was going to be another rough night. That he knew.  
Placing his case onto the berth, his single optic turned to the only other room in the small quarters. The door was pushed closed, but that didn't mean it was latched. His only guess was that his mate was in there passed out, considering there was no noise.  
Walking to the door, he lifted his hand to nudge it. That was before he heard something on the other side. Something he wasn't expecting. Something that made his spark strings pull against his own chest. He didn't know whether or not to just leave, or to comfort the mech behind the door. Megatron was clearly drunk, which was a danger in itself, but in saying that, he trusted him completely. He also knew he wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, so he could push away any thought of the mech being embarrassed.  
Nudging the door open, it was dark inside the room, but with the light from the main room, he could see the mech on the floor, his back against the sink. He didn't turn the light on; he just placed his hand onto the doorframe. After all, he didn't want anything bad happening.  
"Megatron…?" he asked, his voice soft, even though his spark was heavy with disappointment and concern over his mate. He didn't like feeling disappointed in Megatron, especially with everything that had and was still going on in his life. But he just wished the mech would stop doing this to himself.

Shaking his head, Megatron didn't look at the mech. "Please, I don't want you to see me like this," he said, wiping the back of his palm over his face to wipe away the tears that had begun falling idly down his cheeks.  
It wasn't the first time he had fallen to his emotions in front of the mech, but that certainly didn't mean he had to enjoy it. He hated every moment of someone seeing him like this. It just reminded him of how his mother and father would smack him around for being so weak. It was no surprise that he hardly cried, or allowed anyone to see him cry. However, him being drunk didn't help his case.

Giving a soft noise, Shockwave moved into the bathroom, crouching down. "You know I can't leave you in such a state," he stated, his English accent soft in the room. Placing his hand onto his mate's shoulder, he felt the mech shaking. He had to be pretty over-energised if he was letting the high-grade make him show his weaker side.  
"Come, you need to sleep it off, Megatron," he said, the mech turning his head away from him, making him take his hand back. He knew Megatron was stubborn, and sometimes acted like a teenage boy, but he could handle that. He knew him, and though Megatron wasn't the most predictable mech, he would always be there for him.

"So you can wake up to me doing this again tomorrow? No, Shockwave," said the husky voice of the former Decepticon ruler. "I'm so tired of putting you through this," he choked, shaking his head once more. "Just go. Just get out of here and leave me to wallow in my own fucking disgust! Primus, you deserve so much better!" he wept, leaning his head into his hand.

"Listen to yourself, Megatron. You're drunk," said the violet mech, putting his hand back to his mate's shoulder. "You need your rest." He didn't want to push the fact that he hated seeing his lover like this, and the fact that he drank so much, but it wasn't exactly the time to talk about it. Megatron was already quite emotionally unstable due to everything that had happened in the last year or so. With the operation, he wasn't even supposed to be drinking, but considering it had been around a year ago, the mech had picked back up on the habit.

Sniffing, Megatron gave a sad attempt at a laugh. "Shockwave, listen to _your_self!" he said, looking up now so that his hazed optics looked into his mate's clear, golden one. "How many more times will you have to suffer this bullshit!? How many times will you come home from wherever the fuck you've been and have to come home to this? It's not fucking worth it! You should be with someone who can take proper care of you! Who can give you what you want and truly need in life. Not… _this!_" he yelled, moving his arms out to signify the situation at hand.

Still crouched, Shockwave gave a light chuckle, this time sitting himself down in front of his mate, his legs crossing as he sat up straight. "Megatron, if this is what I have to come home to every night just to be with you? Then I will take it. I love you, no matter how hard things are," he said, placing his hand onto the mech's arm that was resting on his upright knee.  
"I don't like watching you suffer, or like you drinking until you fall into this… horrid pit of emotional Hell. But I know it won't be like this forever. I cannot ask you to stop this, Megatron. It's you who has to. It's you who has to say no. I know you don't believe that high-grade takes away the pain, but I know how deep in an addiction can be…"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Megatron swallowed hard, his optics on the floor between his upright knees. "I just… I don't want to feel like this," he whispered. "Every day… I feel it. It's beneath my armour… my protoform. My skin. All I can feel is it. Itching at me, like there's some sort of disease inside me. Like She's just…" He exhaled, trying to fight back the tears that were on the edge.  
Putting a hand over his face once more, he bit his bottom lip. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Shockwave. I hate putting you through this. I just want it all to stop. Why didn't you let me pull that damn trigger!? You could have been happy!"

Feeling his antennae lower, Shockwave shuffled himself closer to his mate, this time sitting on his knees and being inside the mech's open thighs. "Listen to me," he murmured softly, his single hand taking his lover's chin. "My happiness is because of you, Megatron. Without you… there's no reason to live. I fought so hard to be by your side. Not just because I was your loyal soldier, but because I needed you. I still do. And I always will. You are my reason, Megatron. If you had of pulled that trigger, your wishes of me being happy would never have been fulfilled…"

Feeling his lover's thumb run against his dampened cheek, Megatron's optics arched for a moment. "I don't understand what you see in this," he said, his optics lowering once more. "I was once the most powerful mech, and now I'm nothing. I can't even fucking spend a day without drinking, without thinking about what they all did to me. I just want to vomit every time I see them in my head."

Considering how dreadful the aftereffects of the operation had been, Shockwave wasn't surprised that memories would make the mech feel sick. Even without the operation, the memories he had suffered were still quite revolting and could make one physically sick.  
"I know you don't think I could see anything positive from your view, but believe me when I say you mean more than you think to me. I wouldn't care if the two of us were homeless, without credits, without armour. As long as we are together… my happiness will be eternal," he said with all honesty, sitting himself back down.  
"You may feel that everything is wrong right now, Megatron. But things will get better. I promise you this. It can get worse than other times, I know, but in the end, as long as we have each other, I know we can be happy together. And I will _always_ be here for you—with you—no matter what."

Looking back to his mate, Megatron couldn't help but feel the corner of his lips turn into the smallest of smiles. "I wish I could have seen it before, Shockwave. Before all of this bullshit. If I knew…"

"Shh," said the violet mech, placing his finger to the mech's perfect lips. "There's no need to speak, I already know how you feel. I don't need to hear the words to know in my spark that one day we will have the perfect life together. We will be back on Cybertron, and who knows, maybe even have a little sparkling," he joked, seeing Megatron give him a drunken and confused look.

"I may be drunk, but I'm not stupid enough to get you pregnant," said the silver mech, giving a light laugh.

Shockwave simply gave a chuckle, pushing himself to his pedes. "Come to bed, Megatron. You're going to have a shocking headache in the morning," he said, letting his hand down so the mech could take it.

Looking up, Megatron's optics stayed on the lavender hand for a moment. Shockwave meant more to him than the mech would ever realise. He had been beside him through all of this, and he didn't even know it. From the first day he had joined the Decepticon ranks, his spark had been attacked to him. He had fought for what he had loved and believed in. In reality, without Shockwave beside him in the war, he probably would have been much worse off, considering the mech had stopped him from doing some serious damage in some cases.  
He smiled to himself, taking the hand and pulling himself up so he could stand and find his feet. He was still drunk, and his head was still spinning, but he had his mate there to keep him safe, and he knew that. Yes, he was going to feel like utter shit in the morning, but at the same time, knowing his mate was going to be beside him meant everything.  
As he felt Shockwave lead him into the next room, he had to shade his optics from the light, the mech dimming them so it wasn't so bright with the voice command. "Even though I'm over-energised off my aft… I secretly like when you take care of me," he confessed, the violet mech sitting him on the berth.

Giving a laugh, Shockwave couldn't help but mentally grin, his cheeks flushing a little. "It's a good thing you won't remember this in the morning," he said softly, gently laying the mech down and underneath the covers. "Here's a bucket… just in case you miss the latrine."

Feeling himself sink into the berth below him, Megatron's head spun quite badly for a moment, his systems having to catch up with the fact that he was now on his back. "Shockwave," he said, looking to the mech and taking his arm.

"Yes?" said the violet mech, his optic on his mate.

"You can just call it a toilet…."

Feeling his shoulders slump, Shockwave gave another small chuckle. "Go to sleep, Megatron. I'll be here when you wake up."

Smirking, Megatron gave a drunken grin, his canines bared. "Thank you," he murmured, his systems powering down as he passed out, his hand falling back to the berth.

Watching as the mech's systems powered down for the night, Shockwave turned the lights off and sat on his own side of the berth. "Sleep well," he murmured, leaning down and giving the mech a kiss. Sure, Megatron reeked of high-grade and his face was covered in tear residue, but there was nothing more perfect than being next to his mate in stasis. All Megatron needed was a little taking care of.

**Author's Comment:**

_I wanted this to be more emotional than it turned out in the end. As you can see, the start was pretty overall into it, and I wanted it to be quite dark as well as being sweet and emotional in the end. _

_I did want to add more of Megatron reminiscing his past in this, but I realised there wasn't much room for it, especially with him being drunk and Shockwave just being so utterly supportive. It's hard to make Megatron deeply emotional and in the pit when Shockwave is there to comfort him-as he seems to do it with such ease. _

_But here Megatron confesses, in his drunken state, that he secretly enjoys Shockwave taking care of him when he's down. We don't always admit it, but deep inside, sometimes we need that pick me up, and to know that someone truly cares and needs us. 3_


End file.
